Dinner for dump people
by The Sacred Pandapuff
Summary: Ed and Al are forced to eat dinner with the colonel. But is the food still good? And can they stop arguing? Apparently not. Old lady's going to suffer for it. No pairings, just for you to know. R&R!


Hello again! This is my latest fic. I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA! And I want to fly... (What the heck did that have to do just after the disclaimer...)**

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****DINNER FOR DUMP PEOPLE**

"Hey Roy, this tastes like crap. No, worst. Did you check its date?"

"Date? What date? I had no idea that roasted fishes go on dates!" Roy shouted out of surprise.

"Not that kind of date, you idiot! I meant the day when the food gets _old _and you won't be able to eat it without disgorging!" Ed shouted back.

"Now you two, calm down. Don't you think that colonel is really nice for serving you dinner?" Al asked, absolutely bored because of the two persons who had been shouting for each others for already an half an hour. When the hell would they stop it?

"Nice? I didn't come here willingly, you know. I could've just eaten in a restaurant again, without even a smell of an old food. I think that would've been nice" Ed snarled. Well, it was true that he hadn't come willingly. But unfortunately his superior officer had used his power for his subordinate. It was either go to him and have dinner or leave the military and never come back. Let's see on court. Ha ha. Not really funny.

"It's not old. Want to bet?" Roy snarled back. "And I think I'm being really nice serving you dinner. By that way, I don't have to eat alone and you won't use military's money for dinner."

"OK, I'm absolutely sure that this crap is already old. Let's bet. If I win, you're going to eat all of this crap you made."

"OK! Fine for me. If I win, you're going to eat that plate empty with no complaints!"

"And about that 'you being so nice' thing: look at your stupid excuses! There's nothing that would be nice for _me_. Only you and the military – and even the military goes for you! So I can say that you think only about yourself!"

"No I don't! Al's having a good time, aren't you?"

Al straightened up on his chair. "What? What? Oh, yeah, really funny."

Ed stared his brother. "You're lying. You don't even have a clue what we're talking about!"

"Oh yes, I do!"

"Then can you tell it?" Then there was a brief silence.

"You already know it as well, so why would I waste my energy repeating it to you."

"You're a bad liar Al! And you don't even need any energy!"

"Cut it you two!" Roy commanded. Ed fell limp again on his chair.

"Now the date."

"The what? Who's having a date now?" Roy asked, confused again.

"NOBODY, YOU IDIOT! The date of the fish, we had a bet, remember?" Ed bellowed.

"What, I thought we just agreed that the fish didn't have a date?"

Ed was trembling now pretty furiously, his face turning purple.

"Why am I even trying to talk to you? Al, do you mind explaining it again to colonel bastard, because it's really taking my energy." Al could tell by just looking at his face that he was suppressing a loud bawl that nobody really wanted to hear. So he decided to explain the word again to Roy.

"Brother meant the day when the food gets old and you won't be able to eat it without disgorging."

"You're quoting me!"

"No I'm not! I didn't intensify the word _old!"_

"Well you did now!"

While the two brothers arguing loud again, Roy decided to proof Ed that the fish wasn't bad. So he walked and grabbed fish' package and checked "the day when the food gets old and you won't be able to eat it without disgorging", quoting the two boys with the explanation. Unfortunately for him, the date didn't mean any good for him. So he tried to hide it.

"What the heck are you doing?" he heard a voice behind him. Uh oh. Not good.

"Show me the bloody date! I want to know how old this crap of yours is." And with those words the golden haired teen grabbed the package and ran to the other side of the room before Roy even noticed that the package was gone.

"TWO MONTHS!? TWO MONTHS OLD! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU HAVE THIS OLD FOOD IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR!" His face was horrified and furious. Well, considering the situation with the new information of ours, he had every reason to be angry.

"Err… Maybe someone else putted it in there?"

"Eat it."

"What?"

"We had a bet. You loosed. So you eat it." Ed said with an evil grin of his.

"I thought we were kidding!" Roy said blankly.

"Well, we weren't. Eat it. NOW!"

With that Alphonse stood up, grabbed the plate and threw the food out of the window.

"Al… What… What… WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST DO!? THAT BASTARD WAS SUPPOSED TO EAT IT!" Ed screamed while Roy sighed out of relief.

"You can't make your superior officer sick, brother. Now, thanks for company, colonel Mustang. We're going now."

And with that he grabbed the very pissed young alchemist shrimp with him and walked out of the apartment. On their way down the public stairs, an old lady walked past them with fish all over her hat.

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I know it's weird. But I think all of my fishes... no, FICS are. I don't have any fishes. Hehee. Now, please review! And if you see spelling mistakes, please let me know! English is not my motherlanguage and this is my 3rd fic, so I'm still not very confident with it.

Thanks for reading! Now, be nice and review!


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